"A void no more"

Conflicted in my own self absorption of pain and hurt.
So many unseen scars in my mind and in my heart.
What good am I to anyone else if I am no good to myself.
To not live in the past, but to return to the present.
Just to be present.
Just to be seen and heard.
Have the things I have seen and lived made me stronger or only withdrawn and numb?
To have everything I have ever wanted, yet to have nothing all at the same time.
I don't want to feel like a void, I refuse to life this life anymore.
I don't want to feel unwanted or like a burden, because I am someone.
I want to truly see how fortunate I am, despite of it all.
I want to say I made it.
I want to live to be a hundred and have marvelous stories to tell, and not stories of sorrow.
I will wake up every morning and say, "Thank you Lord, for you are great."
To find true happiness then I must look within myself.
I want to be independent and self reliant.
A spectacular and positive role model to my kids and the people around me.
I want people to see the light radiating from me.
Lord you are my strength, my refuge, and I will run to you.
Only through you will I be great and the person you intended me to be.
A void no more, Amen.
-Amber